I never thought one day even my memories, visible, either in the form of blog posts or photos, or not, wouldn’t be able to help me…
No, this one is not going into the lamenting direction. On the contrary though…
Is it peace I’m feeling, or resignation, I’m not sure, but for the first time in almost 4 months, I wanted to cook again, browsed fashion pages and hair styles again, felt excited to go shopping again, had the inspiration to write about other things than my pathetic breakup again, did many things I used to do with joy again.
It changed, starting from the trip to Ninh Thuan last month.
Seeing new faces, listening to new stories, getting tanned in the sun (gosh, 1 month later and I still look like a piece of coal), eating awesome food, collecting new experiences (below is a photo of me riding an ostrich, how super cool is that?), bursting out new laughs…were all parts that freed my mind and put it back to the green land of hope and optimism. My life-long aspiration to be on the go saved me once again.
Follow your passion and everything will be alright. There will be times when you don’t even have the energy to follow your passion, when even your passion seems tiring and meaningless. But try giving yourself a dose of your addiction, again, and you’ll realize, no, you’ll be reminded, what you truly cannot live without (besides air, food, water, clothes, money, medicines when you’re sick, stuff like that). It’s not some boy, nor cabbage, nor even sweet food. It’s this adrenaline rush when indulging in your dreams. That’s what you need to live life.
2 years ago, when I wrote Don’t Date A Girl Who Travels, I thought future me would go back and remember the magical healing impact of traveling, but in fact, I was too scared to visit my own memory land again. My own life lessons, that I purposefully wrote down for future reference, couldn’t help me. I refused to let them help me.
I hope a few years from now, I won’t have to go back here for the exact same reason again 🙂 but a different problem, a new kind of lost, a deeper level of distrust and cynicism. But if I do…
So future Blue Girl, you won’t remember, but once you thought that you grew out of traveling, that it was for immature losers scared of commitment, that going anywhere would be meaningless without a special someone to share your stories. Guess what? It’s not. It never will. Not all those who wander are lost. And for you, trust me, older self, staying in one place kills your sense of purpose. You always find the most meanings when you wander.
As promised, a photo of me riding an ostrich: