So when you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant train of thought, heading for the places in your past where the screaming is unbearable, remember there’s always madness. Madness is the emergency exit.
I closed my eyes, not because of the unbearable I was looking at, but because of the unbearable memories going on in my head. How many years have passed, yet the feelings still keep haunting – the scream, the sound of breaking glass, the cry? It hurt to see, hurt more to hear and remember, but hurt most to realize the same hands, same arms one day could strangle the life out of me, both literally and figuratively, the same way they had brought love and hope to me not so many years ago. In a few minutes, faith, trust, peace, all the good things faded.
But I couldn’t find that emergency exit. No, I found it, but couldn’t open it. Locked by society, restrains and pressure, it stayed there, grinning back at me. The train pulled me forward, back to the screaming.
I wonder how long it takes for that train to derail, and a swarm of rescuers would pour out from the emergency exit.