Heart breaks

The best way to not have your heart broken is to pretend you don’t have one.

Pretend…

The key word is pretend. Pretend to others, pretend to yourself. Pretend for so long that you believe you don’t have a heart. Pretend so convincingly that it gradually becomes a conditional reaction to shut down all emotions whenever your heart tries to speak. Pretend. Pretend. Pretend. Until pretence turns into reality. Until lies become truths. Until you finally have no heart.

Until someone sees through your wall and realizes your aspiration for love, realizes your feeble naive soul, realizes under your cold distant look lies a warm beating heart. He walks into your life and determines to turn it upside down. He shatters the reinforced glass case protecting your heart. He melts the ice in your soul. He lays you there, exposed, naked, vulnerable. Then he leaves.

And you realize you have a heart. Everyone does. You’re happy and regretful at the same time. Happy to feel something. Regretful to feel it. Happy to have your heart awaken. Regretful to know the whole time you have been protective of it and now it is just so vulnerable like an unimuned child. Happy to let someone know you’re human. Regretful to let that same person know you have an emotional weakness. Happy to care about other people more. Regretful you are no longer the same.

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