The year’s not over yet; there are still a good 7 days left, and never in my life have I been so aware that anything can happen within 1 week, which is even more true in the festive, lonely atmosphere of the holiday. But it’s ok, I guess. For a year full of excitements, disappointments, and mistakes, what’s the worse that could happen now ?
1. Year-end activities, Jan 17
I reluctantly took part in this annual event at my new work place because I was forced to. Honestly the whole time I didn’t enjoy it, the unprofessional performances, the uncoordinated preparation, the silly plot that made me play the role of the Little Match Girl. But I did it anyway, thinking I should take with me at least some memory of the job, though just a temporary one. And thus born my first step toward mingling in with the best co-workers I have ever had or will ever have.
2. The trip back to my hometown, Mar 22 – 24
that I dubbed “a walk down the memory lane”, with an afternoon catching up with my college mates, an evening laughing my ass off with my friends of 15 years (which is hell of a long time for a 23-year-old like me), and my cousin’s wedding. A walk through the past to make me realize nothing stayed the same anymore. There were no longer innocent smiles and care-free jokes, just worries, financially and career-wise for the most part. Although I still felt like a kid, although I wanted so much to remain a kid, it was time to grow up. I don’t know how yet, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out along the way.
3. European trip, Apr 28 – May 7
No need to comment, I suppose. It’s mother freaking Europe for God’s sake.
But one day I’ll go back there, to bath in the Rome golden sunlight, to drench in the romantic music while walking along the Tiber river, to wander among the stoned narrow alleys soaked in moonlight and thousands of years of history. And that one day, I’ll be back with you who deserves to be there.
4. First kiss in years, May 25
A stolen bittersweet kiss that I’ll forever regret…
5. First trip with my lovely co-workers, Jun 19 – 23
with so many laughs, so many “what-ifs”, and so many emotions for a “first”. Another milestone in revealing my true self to the people I spend most time with.
6. The conquer of Fansipan mountain, Sep 27 – 28
When I lay there, alone, heart pounding, pride destroyed, will broken, faith vanished, nothing mattered anymore. When the clock chimes midnight, only Cinderella is left with the pumpkin and rats; no magic, no fairy, no prince Charming is there for her, with her. So I put my months of mourning aside, and no one, but me, myself, and I, is the owner of my own life, of how I live.
7. A certain Sunday, December
I was lying in my bed, waiting for a call. The phone rang, and it wasn’t the one I was hoping for. A sharp pain in my chest, and I decided it was the end.
I wondered if I was simply too selfish, if my faith was not much to fend for the feeble heart. But as I hung up and lay alone in bed, I know, with all my heart and soul, that I deserved better, and that it was time I put the lessons learned in September to a perfectly good use.