Friends > Boys

Found this one in the draft section of my Facebook notes. So I guess I’m just adding some doodles at the end and call it a piece of writing? God damn it, Finance Center, upload the forecast quickly so I can check one last time and go home !!!!

When I was younger (but not that young, about 17, 18 or so, still dreamy and optimistic), I had many dreams, most of which were related to the U.S. of America to some extent. I dreamed to study in a gorgeous campus with its four distinctive seasons, its own lake and river. I dreamed to find true love there, hold his hand walking in the magical virgin snow or in the sunlight of Miami. I dreamed one day, in the sunset, he would go down on one knee and I would say yes. I dreamed we would have our wedding photos taken in Niagara Falls, our wedding on a ranch in Texas, and then we would fly to the Maldives for our iconic honeymoon.

And I did. I went to a picturesque school. I walked in the falling snow. I enjoyed the sunshine of Miami, both the beach and the city. I was speechless at the glorious and peaceful Pennsylvanian sunset. I visited the magnificent Niagara Falls, on the Canadian side. I stayed in a camp in Texas for a whole week. And soon, flying to Maldives is not far away in my plan.

There’s only one piece missing – the true love.

It’s gonna break my heart (if I had one) to know another dream will go by without the “true love” part in a few months.

But at least I never had to do spend any of my most treasured moments alone (I guess if I had, those moments wouldn’t have become that treasured anyway). I got to enjoy those little moments with my most beloved friends. And what’s more, I wouldn’t trade the world to have a boyfriend with me in  those moments instead of my cool, awesome friends.

Boyfriends come and go. Love lights up then fades, but friendships stay as sincere and as caring as they forever are. It’s said that looking back we will regret what we didn’t do more than what we did do. That’s so true. I asked myself all the time “what if I had…” It aches to not know the answers, being tormented by all the possibilities. I will never know what it feels like to lace my fingers with my love’s and look at the sunset. I will never know what it feels like to taste your love’s kisses in the sound of the Niagara falls. I will never know…

But do I really care? Can I really care? The past is already written.

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